Beloved CD Revisited

Just sitting here
Pencil in my hand,
Notebook on my lap,
Eraser balanced
On the edge of a page,
I am complete.

Poor lighting
So Iíll need stronger glasses
But I canít change
The lighting.
One small candle
Can be treacherous
If it accents the
Wrong note.

Oh, and the notes of the music,
Swelled,
Burst,
Played with my heart
As if it was
A ball of sticky tack.
My shoulders dug into the bed
Before arching up,
A caterpillar
On its back,
Trying to do a flip.

I move my leg
And the eraser slips
Now it is poised
On my knee, which
Would have been
Unsteady
Trembling
Ten minutes ago.

My fingers tremble now
Shaking automatically
Back and forth
Still in the rhythm
Even though the endless
Driving
Beat
Stopped a while ago.

Thighs sore,
A marathon
In one place,
The melody
Rose then
Sagged,
But never fully
Let me rest

It had been so long,
Too long,
Between listening to it,
Playing it,
Losing myself
Within.

My ears were tickled
By an ocean of sweetness
That drowned my chest
My fingers
Soaked
Even my eyes
Were sweaty.

And at its climax
I nearly screamed my tears
Overwhelmed,
Fulfilled,
But still unfulfilled
And the last few notes
Floated away,
Never to return
Tonight.

So here I am
Pencil in my hand,
Notebook on my lap,
Eraser balanced
On the edge of my knee,
I am complete.

(c) 1998-2003 Rachel Rossos.